In others‘ eyes, I always have a trend-setter, I knew I was in fact a conservative, or I am a garbage collector, others do not do the things I do with relish, just because it is neglected, I always feel that I am a distance frolic in the waves and fashion, the attitude of the marginalized people I have been to there, when the product of the era of prosperity, I am a new era of illiterate, I happy otherwise, leisurely, lived by myself from the alone.
The ancients said that wen poor martial rich, is really no deception. I think myself a man of letters, others or false fanned the flames, more let me think, so I am very poor. A man needs food and clothing. I’m human and I can‘t be different. Although it is said that if tea does not make us want to eat, then we should go to drink to celebrate this self-mockery is our great Chinese nation’s happy spirit in the bitter, it is indeed a relief to occasionally, but always this is not good.
Sometimes deliberation is a reason to do something well, but more often it turns into an excuse not to do it, a legacy of mental balance.
Lu Xun said: “the real warriors dare to face the bleak life and dripping blood directly.” I was such a warrior that I never bothered to find comfort in my poverty. Originally life is short, the time belongs to one‘s own can be counted on one’s fingers, in my limited life, I have been treasure like gold, I do not want to let others waste my precious time. So I was lonely all the time. A man named Zhang Chu sang a song, the song is called “The lonely cow is shameful”, so I became a shameful person.
In fact, I am not without friends, but I have been lukewarm attitude let others feel that they are very hurt. They used to think they were using their hot faces against my cold ass, that I had no money and no power, that there was no need for them to sneak up on me. Therefore, my seemingly cold, let them have the heart to approach me and become one after another to retreat. They come, they go, I am not happy, naturally also not sad, I have been a firm stance of self-centered life.
Others because I am difficult to approach, but began to appreciate me, looking at the door that ignorance day is true, that disgusting when funny, that cold when cool performance, I felt sick from time to time. I despised them and pitied them at the same time. As the saying goes, “I despise them when I don‘t know them, and I despise them even more when I know them.” I just pity them and turn to my own sorrow. Someone once said, “People cannot communicate with each other.” I agree with you. In fact, even if people can communicate with each other, I don’t bother to do it.
But posture is one thing, and life is another. I wanted milk and bread, and butter, and I had to divide my time painfully, and my work was to talk to people, and so I had to cope with it every day. Every time I‘m talking to someone, I’m absent-minded and I don‘t know what I’m thinking, as I often do. I smile lonely in the noisy crowd, because I feel I can not be in the play. I can‘t live with others. I’m free to fly in my own world. Sometimes, I try to dig into my own world, but to no avail. I give up. I began to indulge myself in an airy place.
People say I‘m slower than others, but I know what they’re saying and my answers are clear. But I always end up on the tip of my tongue. Because I find that many of my instinctive reactions are full of nonsense, but there is always so much nonsense in others that you have to react even to numbness. In a sky like this, the voice of an individual is of no account.
I live in this way, lonely and aloof from worldly strife, other people‘s eyes are still very vacant, looking at them from the heart of ignorance and sincere numbness, what can I ask for?
I deal with them like this. I always react against the logic. Often make them grinning from ear to ear, so I am an interesting person to become another crown!
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